BETWEEN Resources

The BETWEEN

Reading List

The Cycle of Grace: Living In Sacred Balance by Trevor Hudson & Jerry Haas

A Church Called Tov by Scot McKnight & Laura Barringer

The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.

When The Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd

Surrender To Love by David G. Benner

The Ideal Team Player by Patrick Lencioni

Redeeming Heartache by Cathy Loerzel and Dan Allender

Learning to Fall: The Blessings of an Imperfect Life by Philip Simmons

An Altar In The World by Barbara Brown Taylor

Falling Upward by Richard Rohr

Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges

Seasons of Your Heart by Macrina Wiederkehr

No Cure For Being Human by Kate Bowler

Circle of Grace by Jan Richardson

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Spiritual Rhythms for the Enneagram by the Calhouns and Loughriges

Consolations by David Whyte

The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse by Charlie Mackesy

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

Keep Your Love On: Connection, Communication & Boundaries by Danny Silk

CULTIVARE is a rich and beautiful monthly field guide for life and faith created by TEND.  Each month they explore a specific “field” – a topic or theme through which they seek to cultivate contemplation, engagement, and deeper understanding. Their guiding questions are:

What are you cultivating in your life?

What fruit do you want your life to bear?

The February 2024 issue on Longing is especially significant.

six-word memoirs

try writing your own.

Honest Advent Art and Devotional

You’re supposed to feel the wait - the anticipated arrival of something you want so badly - and by feeling the wait deeply, you’ll be even more satisfied by the celebration of its arrival.

Scott Erickson, Honest Advent

a blessing for living between.

between miracles.

between answers.

between formulas.

Kate Bowler, The Lives We Actually Have

The Cycle of Grace: Living In Sacred Balance

by Trevor Hudson and Jerry P. Haas

What’s Really Going On?

Systems Theory and the Soul of Leadership

Season 16, Episode 1 (The entire season with R.H.B. and Steve Cuss is amazing.)

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership podcast by Ruth Haley Barton

a surprising, counter-intuitive perspective on how people grow

Listen to this 2-minute TED Talk clip from renowned surgeon Atul Gawande.

The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse

by Charlie Mackesy

“A relationship is a physiologic process, as real and as potent as any pill or surgical procedure.”

An article about how abandonment and separation impact the body.

Relationship Rupture and the Limbic System: The Physiology of Abandonment and Separation

40 Questions in 40 Miles for 40 Days of Lent

A Potter’s Inn Resource by Stephen W. Smith

How much stress have you endured this year? What impact is it having on you?

Use this well-known tool to measure the amount of stress you've experienced recently.

Taking the test can help you determine if you're at risk of illness due to the combined stress you face.

The Art of Transition Gallery

featuring the work of Carol Aust and William Bridges

finding meaning in the BETWEEN time of a transition

All transitions are composed of 1) an ending, 2) a neutral BETWEEN zone, and 3) a new beginning.

Transition is the difficult process of letting go of an old situation, suffering the confusing nowhere of inbetweeness, and of launching forth again in a new situation. It is the constant and unsettling process that offers, as all hero’s journeys do, the chance of growth and redemption.

Ponder these two questions:

What is it time to let go of in my own life right now? (the ending)

What is standing backstage, in the wings of my life, waiting to make an entrance? (the new beginning)

Consider these practical suggestions for the neutral BETWEEN zone:

Accept your need for time in the neutral BETWEEN zone: Use this time to deeply understand your situation.

Be aware of the traps of “fast forward” and “reverse”: Don’t rush the process, but at the same time, keep moving.

Find a regular time and place to be alone: You need space for your inner signals to make themselves heard.

Begin a log of neutral zone experiences: Resist the tendency to imagine that what is needed is external to your situation.

Explore what you really want in life: Ask yourself big questions. Listen to your answers without judgment. Remember that you don’t necessarily have to do anything about the wanting; but it is important for you to be aware of it.

Think of what would be unlived in your life if it ended today: What dreams, convictions, talents, ideas, qualities have gone unrealized? This is a chance to begin a new chapter.

Imagine that you are really old: Look back on yourself from a time in the future when you’ll know what was really going on and even how things turned out. From that vantage point, was this present point in your life a time when it was a good idea to keep on in the same direction, or was it a time that cried out for change?

Go on a BETWEEN time retreat: Spend a few days alone reflecting on the present transition process in your life.

Find someone to talk to: You need to put into words your dilemmas and your feelings so that you can better understand what is going on. A trusted person can help you.

Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges

A Podcast about Decision Making in Liminal BETWEEN Spaces

With Suzanne Stabile and Emily P. Freeman

The Center for Action and Contemplation

Receive a daily meditation in your email box from Richard Rohr. The theme this year is The Prophetic Path. “It can be easier to turn away from suffering than face it with an open heart. That’s why our 2023 Daily Meditations theme, The Prophetic Path, empowers us to not avoid or fear the pain of the world, but turn toward it with compassion.” Meditations are emailed every day of the week, including the Weekly Summary on Saturday. Each week builds on previous topics, but you can join at any time.

Practicing Resurrection in a Crucifying World

Learning to Listen to the Language of Tears

a sermon by Trevor Hudson, passed on to me with this note:

“Perhaps the finest sermon I have ever heard.”

things to consider when you are in transition

Take your time: don’t try to rush the inner reorientation process taking place

Arrange temporary structures: work out ways of going on with your life while the inner work is being done

Don’t act for the sake of action: stay in transition long enough to complete this important process, not to abort it through premature action

Take care of yourself in little ways: find the small continuities that are important when everything else seems to be changing

Explore the other side of the change: allow yourself to consider both the benefits and the grief of your situation

Find someone to talk to: you need opportunities to put into words your dilemmas and your feelings so that you can better understand what is going on

Think of transition as a process of leaving the status quo, living for a while in a fertile timeout, and then coming back with an answer: let your time of transition be a time of renewal and transformation

— William Bridges, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes

Living Into Your Values

Listen to Brene Brown and her sister walk through this personal exercise about values and value-based living. Then do the work yourself…

Values and Obstacles

this multi-faceted reflection tool will help you set life goals based on your values

Pray As You Go is a daily prayer session, designed to go with you wherever you go. Lasting about 10 minutes, it combines music, scripture and questions for reflection.

The aim is to help you to:

  • become more aware of God's presence in your life

  • listen to and reflect on God's word

  • grow in your relationship with God

Pray As You Go has a number of prayer tools, retreats and resources to help supplement your prayer life, including topical prayers for Grief, Significance, Anxiety, Loneliness, and much, much more.

Enneagram Assessment

An assessment isn’t the only way to find your Enneagram number, but this inventory by Dr. Jerome Wagner is reliable and comes with immediate results and an insightful, user-friendly report.

What are you longing for?

The Hidden Power of Sad Songs and Rainy Days

explore the places in your life where joy and sorrow meet

Barbara Brown Taylor Quotes

“Earth is so thick with divine possibility that it is a wonder we can walk anywhere without cracking our shins on altars.”

“You only need to lose track of who you are, or who you thought you were supposed to be, so that you end up lying flat on the dirt floor basement of your heart. Do this, Jesus says, and you will live.”

After years of being taught that the way to deal with painful emotions is to get rid of them, it can take a lot of reschooling to learn to sit with them instead, finding out from those who feel them what they have learned by sleeping in the wilderness that those who sleep in comfortable houses may never know.”

“If I have any expertise, it is in the realm of spiritual darkness: fear of the unknown, familiarity with divine absence, mistrust of conventional wisdom, suspicion of religious comforters, keen awareness of the limits of all language about God and at the same time shame over my inability to speak of God without a thousand qualifiers, doubt about the health of my soul, and barely suppressed contempt for those who have no such qualms. These are the areas of my proficiency.”

“Who had persuaded me that God preferred four walls and a roof to wide-open spaces? When had I made the subtle switch myself, becoming convinced that church bodies and buildings were the safest and most reliable places to encounter the living God?”

“I have found things while I was lost that I might never have discovered if I had stayed on the path. I have lived through parts of life that no on in her right mind would ever willingly have chosen, finding enough overlooked treasure in them to outweigh my projected wages in the life I had planned. These are just a few of the reasons that I have decided to stop fighting the prospect of getting lost and engage it as a spiritual practice instead. The Bible is a great help to me in this practice, since it reminds me that God does some of God's best work with people who are truly, seriously lost.”

“Then one night when my whole heart was open to hearing from God what I was supposed to do with my life, God said, “Anything that pleases you.” “What?” I said, resorting to words again. “What kind of an answer is that?” “Do anything that pleases you,” the voice in my head said again, “and belong to me.”

“This is one of the reasons why I remain a devoted student of the Bible: because what it says is so often not what I have been taught it says, or what I think it says, or what I want it to say.”

“I asked God for religious certainty, and God gave me relationships instead. I asked for solid ground, and God gave me human beings instead—strange, funny, compelling, complicated human beings—who keep puncturing my stereotypes, challenging my ideas, and upsetting my ideas about God, so that they are always under construction. I may yet find the answer to all my questions in a church, a book, a theology, or a practice of prayer, but I hope not. I hope God is going to keep coming to me in authentically human beings who shake my foundations, freeing me to go deeper into the mystery of why we are all here.”

grow in healthy interdependence in your relationships

St. Ignatius’ Decision Making Process

consider this 11-step process for making decisions

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

by Melody Beattie

Character Strengths Survey

get to know your greatest strengths

10 leadership qualities that will help you solve problems

1 Self-awareness: Know your impact

2 Empathy: Love differences in others

3 Vulnerability and humility: Trust and be trusted

4 Team building: Empower others

5 Growth mindset: Keep learning

6 Communication: Be clear and positive

7 Commitment to improvement: Be a better you

8 Scientific thinking: Question assumptions

9 Active listening: Stay curious longer

10 Digital competency: Keep up, and then some

The Great Annual Examen

look back, look within, look forward